Youth Ministry Booster
Welcome to the Youth Ministry Booster podcast! The most honest and hilarious podcast in student ministry. Hosted by Zac Workun and Chad Higgins. We are the biggest fans of youth ministry leaders like you!
We are here for you with the humor and the help to engage, entertain, equip, and encourage.
Youth ministry is better together. Learn more @ http://www.youthministrybooster.com
Youth Ministry Booster
Merry Christmas Adam & Eve Everyone! Youth Ministry's Gift of Presence
Merry Christmas Adam & Eve everyone!
The holiday calendar swirls, the phone notification buzzes, and suddenly December is deciding everything for you. We pressed pause to talk about the real pressure of ministering well at church and home.
Our gift this year to share is presence. Chad and Zac share practical ways to build margin without dropping what matters. There’s a tender side to all this too. The holidays carry joy and grief in the same pew. We talk about walking slowly enough to notice the first Christmas after a loss, the newcomer who needs a name remembered, and the family who only shows up in December. With clear expectations at home and a plan for attention—yes to phone-free days—you can serve your church without sacrificing your people
• mapping service schedules and roles before crunch time
• choosing “Christmas Adam” and micro-traditions to free family time
• weekly and twice-weekly family meetings for clarity
• device boundaries, batching messages, phone-free days
• moving prep earlier to be present with people
• shifting from the booth to visible shepherding
• noticing grief and first holidays without loved ones
• simple follow-ups that turn holiday hellos into care
“Please drop a comment and tell us how you drink your coffee”
Hey, and welcome back to another episode of the Youth Ministry Booster Podcast. It's the holiday edition with Chad Higgins.
SPEAKER_02:You went very radio voiced there for a moment. Went up. You did this slide kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00:What's up?
SPEAKER_01:Ho ho ho holiday edition with Zach and Chad in the garage live talking to you all the deals and discounts this Christmas season.
SPEAKER_02:You uh you made me a nice little cup of coffee. I did. I feel very, you know, very blessed, honored.
SPEAKER_01:Uh that's actually a holiday blend, my friend. That's the holiday brand from our friends making coffee in North Carolina.
SPEAKER_02:How do you how do you feel about the spirit of Christmas in a mug? Wonderful. I feel like there's a lot of people claiming holiday blend when it comes to coffee.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, sure, fair. Yeah. It doesn't, I mean simple answer is does it have peppermint? Does it eggnog? But like just straight up coffee roasting bees.
SPEAKER_02:It doesn't taste more Christmassy.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I mean, I guess you could find one that's got little notes of spruce in it. A little fur, partridge in a pear tree, if you will. I don't know. Uh yeah, no, I get nervous anytime someone's overly uh additive about the flavors in their coffee. Like, I don't want, I don't want vanilla injected um lavender-infused coffee roast. I just want the natural goodness just uh just to be roasted on in there, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02:Can we make just gross generalizations for a moment?
SPEAKER_01:Of course. It's a holiday episode. Um we're not here for we're not here for the subtlety.
SPEAKER_02:The average youth minister across the country.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:How do they take their coffee?
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02:And I love for our listeners, yeah. Please shoot us messages. Drop a comment in. Drop a comment in fan mail, how do you drink your coffee? How do you drink your coffee? It's important.
SPEAKER_01:Uh I feel like it's a probably pretty divisive issue.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like But I'm I'm talking average. You got a bell curve.
SPEAKER_01:But that's I don't think there is. It's an un I I think it's one of those, uh I think I think the upper echelon cares a whole lot. I think there's a real strong contingent that's like averse to coffee. We got a real strong Celsius Dr. Pepper crowd that could care less. I think a lot of people just drink the cup in front of them. See, I think Which is a Keurig. The Keurig in the youth the youth room is probably the answer. Whatever the church office has, whether it's a Mr. Coffee or a Keurig, is probably the answer. I'm gonna go Keurig, Keurig, shooting Keurig, gay cup go.
SPEAKER_02:See, I'm going, I'm going some sort of latte.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay, we're going that way.
SPEAKER_02:I yeah, I think I think more often than not guy pulls into a coffee shop.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, so not making it their self, buying it, spending, spending, spending dollars on the I mean, of course we all drink a little bit of everything.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But I'm saying the Daily Driver.
SPEAKER_02:The their daily Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Latte in the Starbucks line.
SPEAKER_02:Well, maybe not. Day Daily Driver, then they're probably making it at home, but I think they're adding something into it.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, okay. I think I think there's some sort of You think these are syrupy friends?
SPEAKER_02:I I know, I think, I think they're getting their taste from the creamer.
SPEAKER_01:From the cream. Okay, no, I will say that, okay, maybe let's ask this question. What do you think the bell curve of the coloration of the coffee is from black to tan? Is it no creamer or is it black black's a tan?
SPEAKER_02:Like, oh, that's a big thing.
SPEAKER_01:Well, okay, we'll go black, we'll go black to oat because the oat milk looks like just tinted coffee. Yeah, so so black black coffee would be I add nothing. Uh, tan is somewhere in the middle. Give give me the shade of color. What is the shade of color the average youth pastor coffee is? All right. This is a Crayola question, by the way.
SPEAKER_02:There's a lots talked about in research between correlation and causation. That's good.
SPEAKER_01:That's a statistical episode.
SPEAKER_02:I'm gonna I'm gonna say right now, definitively, I believe the more lock-ins you have done in your life. Okay, come on, the darker that coffee becomes. Okay. Like, if you've seen war, yeah, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:See, I would I would offer the same, but uh, the more reformed you are, the darker your coffee. I think it's a theological choice that like the more fallen the world, and so maybe that backs up a little bit of your lock-in, the more you have seen, the more you have seen the depravity, the darker the roast.
SPEAKER_02:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Uh response to my boy Calvin. You know what I mean? Uh cheer, cheers to Charles and Calvin. Uh yeah, no, I I think I think there's something, a theological statement about the about the roast or the the the darkness, the the inside of my book.
SPEAKER_02:You're bordering on some like some real divisiveness where I mean you're just gonna be able to do that. I think it actually I think it'll sort out.
SPEAKER_01:We'll see. I could say the same thing about your shoes. Yeah, yeah. That is that is my favorite thing, uh, is there are just some really healthy youth ministry tropes um that are really, really fun. I think if we lean into them, no, we got to spend enough time at conferences this season. Um that there's just there's some that are just alive and well. There's something about the youth pastor that like uh if you're in youth ministry, back me up. If this is not true, let me know if it is true. Give me a give me a heck yeah in the comments. Um, the more willing you are to wear like sandals year-round, uh, the larger your iPad is.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, well, yeah, but you've been working at camp for far too long.
SPEAKER_01:I just there's something about like when I see Chacos in the wintertime, I just assume it's a big iPad. Like you just you have the 12-inch iPad. That is just there's something about that. I don't know. I can't prove it, but that's my that's my correlation. Is there a causation to that? You can't. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I'm just sitting here looking at it, going, man, I can't be throwing too much shade. I wore my rip Mr. Rogers cardigan today. You did, you did.
SPEAKER_01:I said, let's have a cozy episode, and you were like, Bet. Well, here's the deal.
SPEAKER_02:If we're gonna be honest, if for if you're a new listener, we tape in Zach's garage. We do.
SPEAKER_01:And while you have seated up a little bit, it still gets cold in here in winter. So it's cool. We're not doing tank tubs and just tank tops in December. Can't do that.
SPEAKER_00:I can't do that.
SPEAKER_01:Uh okay, but holiday season though. Um, man, how many Christmas Eve services are you going to?
SPEAKER_02:One now. As a minister though, oh, dude, there was a season of my life we would do four? Oh, we did seven.
SPEAKER_01:So Christmas Eve night, Christmas Eve afternoon. Well, how do you slot seven in?
SPEAKER_02:Well, was that Christmas Day? It yeah, so it all depended on where where Christmas actually fell.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Um, and so, but we would yeah, we would start um because we just space-wise. There was one one year where we had to do like tickets. Oh. Um it was weird, man. It was so weird.
SPEAKER_01:Um Fa la la la la la la, you're out.
SPEAKER_02:All right, we gotta move, we gotta clear out this parking lot.
SPEAKER_01:Uh no ticket.
SPEAKER_02:No. Um no, so yeah, there there would be, we'd we'd start, and that was where I learned the phrase Christmas Adam.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, for our folks that don't know, uh, Christmas Day, beautiful, Christmas Eve, always. Uh, Christmas Adam, the day that comes, precedes Eve. So Christmas, uh, December 23rd. Yeah. If you have so many Christmas Eve services packed into the busy church schedule in front of you that you're looking down the barrel of, could we add one more on the 23rd? Uh, welcome to those that celebrate Christmas Adam. So if you didn't know, now you know.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and so I will Christmas Adam was always my like that's that's my preference at this point.
SPEAKER_01:Really? Well as a church goer or as a minister? As a church goer. As a goer, okay.
SPEAKER_02:Um primarily because a lot of family like my family, yeah, general, like we do stuff on Christmas Eve. Um, and so being able to go to church and like to still have the worship service, but then have the day with the family. Yeah, day with the family and and that kind of thing. Um, and so because your family starts to get in and like you bring your family to church and or for our family, Christmas Eve is like for my four, that's our day.
SPEAKER_01:Because Christmas Day is chopped up, visiting another family, which we love, but like the most like the most downtime for Karen and the boys and I is always Christmas Eve. Like because everything's closed, we're down, low-key, it's pajamas all day. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So that that was one of the things that I wanted to talk about in this episode. Because so our youth ministry builds a podcast, we always want to talk about like what are the feelings, what are what are youth ministers walking through? The life of ministry, yeah. And I think obviously we have roles and responsibilities during Christmas at our church, but there's an element to our own family, right, that is part of this. So, what are what are some tips that you would encourage for for ministers as they're trying, maybe some of these people listening are newly married, just now have young kids, kids, yep. And so it's like you're trying to like hey, I have to be right here because we've got duties, yeah. Yeah, um, but then you also your wife may now have like their own traditions, right? There's been like the family expectation of you being there on Christmas Eve is different. Yeah, all of those kind of things.
SPEAKER_01:So, how would you encourage a ministry to like navigate these things and uh it's definitely like I think you have to try to understand the season of life that you're in um and try to, I mean, I know that you and I have talked through this, that we'll pick up in a minute and kind of put a pen in of just being the family that goes or the family that hosts. Uh, I think there's some some reality to are you the family that's always on the road? Um, that's like as soon as you get the minute to load up the car and go. Man, some of the best things that we've done is find ways that are inexpensive but focused, fun. So now as church goers, it happens Christmas Eve, but could easily happen a couple days before. Make your own Christmas Adam celebration if you don't have Christmas Adam services. Uh, we always buy a new board game and order a pizza uh Christmas Eve. Uh, and that's what we we do. We have playtime. It's a way for the boys to open a new gift, it's a new thing to do together, screen free fun. Um, because we have young boys and that's like the fun thing. When we had littlies, um, I think a lot of it was just trying to find those little magical moments of um, you know, if it's Christmas morning of them opening and being excited about presents. Um, for Karen and I, when we were married uh without kids, it was doing the Christmas light thing. I know that this is not I apparently this is not everybody's thing. This was a big thing for us in Oklahoma or whatever, but it's like getting in the car, driving to places that have cool Christmas lights, but like creating a day, creating a holiday amidst the holiday season. Uh, I think that's one of those, especially for my youth industry friends that like know how to have fun and throw a party and plan and make a game of things, like you're gonna have to like, I know you're exhausted, I know it's the end of the year, and we just kind of want to either veg or slow down, but I think to find a way to make a memory or a holiday amidst the holiday season is really, really important. Yeah, and it may be like gas station pizza, or it may be, you know, uh, you know, sleep in Saturday brunch, breakfast, Christmas lights or something, but there's ways to just, I think, for the sake of either you and your spouse or you and your young family before the demands of everybody else, like carving early and committing, or, and this is one of the ones we'll talk about at the end of the episode, having some guaranteed phone-free days. Um, I we we started it several years ago. We really encourage folks, whether it's Boxing Day after Christmas or the 27th, depending on how it falls, to have at least a couple days where your phone is just off. Um, because we uh if if this season can't be a moment for you to remember how much your family means to you, then you've missed the gift of what all of it was anyway. So your thoughts?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I I think I think you have to plan to be present, right?
SPEAKER_01:Like, yeah, um it's not gonna be accidental, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:It's not gonna be accidental, but even even beyond just physical presence, because I I think if you're in an unhealthy state, yeah, I think you confuse physical presence with actually being present.
SPEAKER_01:Um I was home, but I wasn't present. It's really easy during the holiday break to be home and not be present.
SPEAKER_02:Right. And and I think I think it's really important that I think we think through like where is our mental state gonna be. Um, and not trying to assume your spouse just understands. Yeah. Um, yes, you have you may have added, you know what I mean, responsibilities. This definitely, like this time of year.
SPEAKER_01:I think there's definitely there's there's there's different you may even have like less youth, more churchwide stuff. Like I think that's probably some of the hardest parts is it's like there are things that you didn't plan that you are having to help or be responsible for.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I I I think that there are so many of things that like fall on that like you know, job description, like as needed kind of things that that fall in here, like for many of our youth minister friends, like you're now running in the sound booth, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Like for the I'm A V three, what does A V three mean? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Uh and and those type of things, and but but you're still there and you're there early and all of those kind of things, and you may have responsibilities of cleaning stuff up and all that kind of deal.
SPEAKER_01:Hey man, if you're gonna do four services on Christmas Eve, that's a tight turnaround.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and and I actually think that in having healthy conversations with your spouse of like, hey, here's what my schedule is going to look like over the next two weeks. Um what are where are we at? What are we doing? Yeah, yeah. And making sure that that expectation is really clear. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Well, clear and then commit to it. Yes, commit to the plan. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And and my my encouragement to you, and and I think it's why the phone thing is so important, is when you're there to be there. Yeah. Um, and not thinking about, okay, well, what's this next service start? Or if you know that that is where you're going to be, that you're you're we're talking through that, those type of things. And that's just not this like expectation. Because I think sometimes when we feel when we feel insecure about our presence at home because of the pressures that we have with our job, the knee-jerk reaction is well, should my spouse understand?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Like, don't they get it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Uh and I I think that that often causes like tension and bitterness that I see in the side.
SPEAKER_01:Well, because I mean it's a big holiday for the family too. And I think we I think we all know it. Like this this is the tension. It's the things that we know and the things we feel pressured by. And and often in those moments, uh clearer communication and committedness to what we communicated. Um, it's the deviations that actually will do us in. It's the you said you'd be done with this by nine, it's 10. Yeah. You said that you didn't have to go until after lunch. I was gonna make us lunch. You you said that the 26th and 27th, your phone would be off and you're shopping, or you're online, or you're watching, you know, and it's just one of those like the the lack the lack of communication generally, but both um specifically to the expectations, and it can feel mechanical for a young couple because you've gone maybe from some moments of just like, man, we're together, everything's great, everything's romantic. Um, but there is the the more there is to manage, the more communication that is required, and the more communication that is um consistently held, uh clearer and made told. Like, I mean, I so not to not to break off into the marriage thing, but Karen and I weekly have family meeting where it is a conversation around calendar, budget. I mean, it's this it's it's like where we're at this week. And during the holiday season, it often happens twice a week. Like last night, we put the boys to bed and we reviewed the next 10 days of winding down the school year and getting ready for the holiday plans and who was gonna be more responsible for the boys here as we pack and get ready for our holiday trips. Like there was like down to the point of like, okay, well, this night's going to be the night that we wrap gifts, and this is the night that we're gonna go shop for this trip. And it was like we're we're carving up the time on the 11th for the 19th. Like, I mean, these these aren't just like like pockets, but these are like big blocks of time that we're making allowances for um that we have to be held to. And so now I now like I it's on the calendar, it's there. Like this is this is this and not that. Um, and I think yes, your job calls you to do stuff, but don't miss it for the sake of family because we didn't communicate clear enough on both. And if you don't know the work requirement stuff, the opposite is true. Make sure you ask for the clear communication. Like, if it's unsure of what time are we supposed to be there for Christmas Eve stuff, like don't guess, find out. Um, especially if you're new in the role and you don't know for sure, or especially like if something is different this year, or it felt like last year we were just standing around or we didn't know quite what to do. Like, it's okay to ask for that clear stuff early because when it gets here, it's gonna feel like pressured. And so again, I think just being really, really thoughtful on that communication times and then being really, really present at whatever you're doing. I the the older I get, the longer I live. Um I think the busy busiest, the biggest challenge in a busy age is being committed to the moment that we're in, because anytime that we're not, we start having regret on both sides about not being there enough and not being here enough to whatever we're feeling torn by.
SPEAKER_02:What for you when when we talk about being present? Yeah, and I know this is gonna look a little bit different for everybody, so that's why I ask like for you. What are what are either things that you have to do or indicators for you to know, like, oh, I I am present? Because I hear that being talked about a lot of being present. Like, what does that actually look like?
SPEAKER_01:Uh it means the phone is in do not disturb. Okay. Uh I I think I think so.
SPEAKER_02:So that's why you're that's one of the key things that distracts you?
SPEAKER_01:Man, it it is. Uh I sometimes it'll be the switch from wearing my like like a notification wearable, like an Apple or Garmin watch, to like just like a timepiece or no watch at all, because that's that's usually where it starts. I'll start getting the like alerts on my or on my wrist. Then we grab from my phone, and my phone comes out, and then like so many of us, I checked this message that cued this email that made this thing that I wanted to check on, and now eight minutes has passed, and I can't give an accounting for it. Um, and so I think managing where my device. Are I think managing where my replies are and again that's related in some ways of when the email comes in, are you responding morning and afternoon? Are you are you batching those things, or is it just as they come in, or as it gets so far delayed that every time you open it, you get really overwhelmed? Um, but I think the other part of it, the other part of it is is where you stand and sit. Um the biggest, the biggest change at home that we've made, um, there's no there's no chairs upstairs, it's just couches. So you're always sitting next to somebody. Like literally, when we were upstairs, like playing games and watching TV, we used to have like a few chairs and everybody kind of had a chair. Well, now we have like two small couches. So if Isaiah's playing video games, I have to sit on the couch with him. Or if we're watching TV, we're all bundled up together. And I think that matters in church stuff too. Because, can I speak a little bit sharply? Um, because it's not our event, sometimes we'll find places like the sound booth, not just to help, but to hide. And so we're kind of halfway there. Um, we'll be in less, hopefully being helpful, but not always in visible spaces to be amongst the people. I get it. It may not be your wiring or gifting, but to be visible and present at an event that wasn't totally on your shoulders. Like I always love Christmas Eve services on staff as a minister because I got to see so many families, and my role was often very important but minimal. It was gathering up the supplies for communion. That's a big deal. But it it put me in a spot to interact with a lot of families, and I could have easily done my task and hid somewhere else. But to put yourself in the middle of whatever it is in front of people is really, really important for so many youth ministry folks that aspire to preach, teach, and pastor more. That starts with being visible and present to those that you're hoping to reach and care for, the parents of students, the families of kiddos who will be in the youth ministry later. There is such an opportunity at the Easter egg hunt, cantata, um, summer festival and Christmas Eve services, Christmas holiday season to see a lot of families that are not always there. There's a lot, right or wrong, there's a lot of folks that show up at Christmas time that don't show up at other times. And so to not just like dismiss and be like, we won't see them for a few months, but to be like, man, it is good to connect and follow up and seeing these as relational openings and opportunities and not just begrudging obligations.
SPEAKER_02:For me, it is a so we've used this phrase as we've like worked on stuff over the years.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That there's a difference between working on the ministry and in the ministry, and that logistically, or just like you're talking about like running the program is often working on it. Yeah. Right? Like there are tasks to get done.
SPEAKER_00:Week to week, week to week, week to week.
SPEAKER_02:Um and and some of those could probably be done days in front. Yeah. To allow ourselves to have presence in the moment. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because I think set up on Tuesday instead of Wednesday or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:What you're talking about, even if your role is to be in the A V booth that Sunday morning, to be present.
SPEAKER_00:And that's okay if it is.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. You may have that role, but there then there are probably two or three other people that you get to invest in for a couple days.
SPEAKER_01:It's like dude, Rick, Rick, Doug, Dave that are always in the A V booth and you're running the live stream audio and you're trying to figure it out. Dude, those are three deacon guys that are probably always there that you didn't get to see otherwise. Like overly invest. Turn on the pastoral interest, you know.
SPEAKER_02:Like that's Yeah, I think I think those are opportunities to be present in the moment and to realize like your role in inside of the church. It's more than just, you know, well, that's the guy who wrangles the kids. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:Like, be a pastor. Yeah, be yes, be be a pastor this season, be a shepherd this season. Um, it is the holidays are such a unique time of both gifts and goodness and grief. And I would say this this is the season to stretch your pastoral muscles, uh, to walk slow enough with discerning ears and discerning eyes to see who maybe you can be for this season. Um, because there's somebody that's lost somebody recently. There's somebody who this is their first holiday without somebody. There is somebody uh who this holiday is is new and different. Um, and you may know through the lens of a student about a family or a parent relationship or a grandparent. Like you have insight enough that to cultivate and be there and present and caring and thoughtful, maybe the greatest gift that you could give this season because you were obligated to be at every service. Yes. And being there at every service means that you get to see a lot more things than you typically see, which means lots more opportunity. And I hope in that way that you feel seen too. Um, that by seeing others, sometimes that reflects, reflects, refracts to give us uh an insight into what God's doing in our own life too. Because there there is there is something about this season, both deeply theological, uh, reformed or otherwise, about the gift of a kid, uh, of a baby at Christmas time uh to remind us of the tenderness uh and the fragility of what we're living in, and so to not speed bump through all that's happening this season um to acknowledge what it is and celebrate the holiday rightly.
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